Suddenly Vegan: Is the Wahl-O-Mat Broken?

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Written By Maya Cantina

Our author is surprised by his Wahl-O-Mat result. But maybe it has something to do with his doubts about the gun issue. These are foreign to BVB.

green artificial grass for the Brandenburg Gate

Green Mile in front of the Brandenburg Gate. Football and political traffic calmed down Photo: Paul Langrock

Mind you, there’s only one week to go until the European elections – and now the Wahl-O-Mat is especially broken. How could it be otherwise that, after completely honest answers to all questions, I am advised to vote for the “V Party for Change, Vegetarians and Vegans”? For years, out of genuine love and foolish defiance, I posted more meat photos than Markus Söder. I am actually also quite hesitant about the party’s goal of change. After all, I have been working at taz for 25 years.

Very confused, I wonder how this amazing result could have come about if the Wahl-O-Mat had not been hacked by the interestingly old-fashioned male vegetarians and vegans. Yeah, well, I quietly admit that it might be right after all… Because I’ve pressed ‘agree’ on most of the ecological demands, partly out of conviction and partly out of a guilty conscience about my climate-damaging meat and meat products. flight consumption.

So the superego. But I am really against factory farming, and I am in favor of organic, even if black pudding is becoming more expensive. But why not the Greens? Probably because I did not immediately agree to every arms export issue without hesitation. So all that was left was the V party.

Rheinmetall deal

That may be true. Because also the generous understanding of the green Minister of Economic Affairs of North Rhine-Westphalia, Mona Neubaur for the “mixed feelings” about the new advertising partnership between Borussia Dortmund and the arms company Rheinmetall, which apparently had already given permission in advance, is not sufficient for me. In any case, my expectations for the Champions League final were tempered. Even those who find weapons necessary in an emergency do not necessarily have to advertise them and benefit from state-funded profits as a sports club. No, not even as BVB-AG.

But like Neubaur, I was not present at the groundbreaking ceremony for Rheinmetall’s new fighter jet factory. And perhaps all this really is necessary to get Germany ready for war and to complete the turning point in which Robert Habeck, understandably, places the Dortmund deal.

Since the V party is still ruled out for me, I start another Wahl-O-Mat attempt, this time playing it safe, entering “neutral” in all 38 questions and thinking that Olaf Scholz will definitely come out. But see, standing up for nothing is not allowed at Wahl-O-Mat! Probably because Scholz is not participating in the European elections, even though it seems that way on the SPD posters. It’s possible that official top candidate Katarina Barley actually entered some of her own opinions into the Wahl-O-Mat.

Accusation of autism

After clicking “neutral” just a few times, you are scolded almost as severely as Scholz by Marie-Agnes Strack-Zimmermann in the Defense Committee: “Please answer the statements carefully.” Anyone who is still undecided will eventually be told: “Unfortunately you can: “The Wahl-O-Mat cannot calculate an individual and reliable result based on your answer pattern. It is unfortunate, but much more polite than Strack-Zimmermann, who accused the chancellor of having ‘autistic traits’ because he gave him ‘autistic traits’.” didn’t use her products as quickly as she did. The constituency wanted to shoot on Russian territory.

That brings us to the core of what we, like me, like to skirt around, and prefer to deal with the justified indignation about disgusting brats on Sylt, disgusting shouting on talk shows and other German scandals than the situation in the world. Secretly, we all know that everything depends on how Putin and Biden act in the war in Ukraine and how American citizens react to the conviction of Donald Trump. You can make it easy for yourself and write on posters like Sahra Wagenknecht: “War or peace? You now have a choice.” But such a stupidly abbreviated question doesn’t even exist in the Wahl-O-Mat.

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